Friday 10 February 2012

The Collapse of the City of Shurom

The stalk cracked loudly as thousands attempted to flee the city within the mushroom's cap. The microbial people of Shurom City screamed as their home was ravaged by some unknown force. One or two heroic types stayed until last, ushering as many as possible out of the city before fleeing on membranous wings themselves.
    On the ground, nearly every refugee of the once-proud city of Shurom looked back in terror and anguish as the city finally fell. Tears flowed freely as the diminutive people began searching for somewhere safe to hide, knowing that nobody in the wide world would ever know of their plight.






This piece of "flash fiction" was inspired by Madison Woods, a link to the inspiration can be found here, if you copy-and-paste it into your browser:
http://madisonwoods.wordpress.com/2012/02/08/photo-prompt-for-100-word-flash-fridayfictioneers-17/

25 comments:

  1. Great beginning to your Flash Fiction on Fridays! A truly imaginative take on the prompt. I happen to be a pesky editor type, so I am going to point out that as this is a serious piece on the collapse of the kingdom of Shurom, that you should not refer to our heroes and "heroic types", Perhaps "A few or our heroes stayed until last" would be more appropriate.
    And your last sentence, perhaps should read "no one in this great world" which gives a more heroic spin to your ending.
    But, I am a pest.
    Lindaura

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    1. That was supposed to be 'should not refer to our heroes AS "heroic types".
      I am actually a lousy editor!

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    2. Thanks for the advice, this is always a learning experience! I can use your input for the future, it will surely help me.

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  2. Welcome to the Fictioneers, Gary! I love your story - so creative and fanciful. I've always been attracted to miniature worlds, both real and imaginary. I look forward to reading more.

    Here's mine:
    http://jansthoughtsovercoffee.blogspot.com/2012/02/flashfriday-fridayfictioneers-lovers.html

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    1. Thank you very much, for both the welcome and the comment. Very much appreciated.

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  3. I enjoyed your story Gary and welcome to Friday Fictioneers.
    I loved the image of the mushroom's cap hosting a whole city. Some great imagery here.

    Here's mine:
    http://mjshorts.wordpress.com/2012/02/10/is-this-the-end-100-word-story-for-friday-fictioneers/

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    1. Thank you, I'm grateful for the comment and glad you enjoyed it.

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  4. Welcome Gary, and what an opening salve! I enjoyed your story and the idea of the miniature world in the mushroom head. Maybe you are the missing hero of my story, which you can read here:
    http://wp.me/p1PeVl-3s

    I too am an editor type, and if I could change anything I'd take out one or two of the "small" adjectives - these people live in a mushroom head, so we know they are small without you needing to describe them as diminutive and microbial. But that's a tiny thing (see what I did there?!) and it didn't ruin the story at all. In fact, I really enjoyed it. Looking forward to reading more from you.

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    1. Thank you for the creative criticism, any and all comments are appreciated for an amateur writer like myself. I can take this and apply it to my novel, too.

      I'm glad you enjoyed it too.

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  5. Good start, and welcome to our group. This little piece crackles with energy, and I look forward to reading more of your work.

    My story's at http://furiousfictions.com.

    I've also posted Cheryl Anne Gardner's new story here: http://furiousfictions.blogspot.com/2012/02/corpus-safari-cheryl-anne-gardner.html

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    1. Thank you very much! I do hope to continue with the Friday Fictioneers stories.

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  6. Welcome to the fictioneers! This was a great piece...it's funny to me, that we as humans, assume we are the only ones on earth who matter. Thank you for sharing.

    ~Susan (Here's mine! http://www.susanwenzel.com/)

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    1. Thanks for the welcome!

      I must admit that the thought of such a massive event meaning almost nothing to the wider world was something that I added in the spur of the moment. I'm glad it worked!

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  7. Fun story, Gary. I really liked the setting. Reminded me of when the tree came down in Avatar. Well done. And the rest of the world will never know.

    Welcome to the Friday Fictioneers

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    1. The Avatar connection wasn't totally intentional but I think it was in the back of my mind when I started writing. I'm glad that it can be compared to something of that scale!

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  8. I've always been fascinated with the worlds around us that no one else notices - both the micro and macrocosms we are entwined with. Thanks for an unusual take on the prompt, I loved it!

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    1. Thank you! And thank you for the idea in the first place, without which this piece would never have been written.

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  9. Enjoyed your story about the teeny-tiny city of Schrum (great take on the word mushroom)! I loved Horton saving the Who's in Whoville------after all, "a person's a person no matter how small." :-)

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    1. Thank you, I really enjoyed writing it. It's very different to anything else I've written.

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  10. Nice "worlds within worlds" perspective and a good reminder that all living things are connected.
    My little ditty: http://bridgesareforburning.wordpress.com/

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    1. Thank you for the comments, I'm glad the idea paid off.

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  11. Welcome to Madison's Friday Fictioneers. I love your brave, little people. I would love a backstory to know how they lived prior to the disaster. I see a Disney movie here. I'm also a newby. Here's my #2 story. www.triplemoonstar.blogspot.com

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    1. Thank you, that's a very positive comment and very much appreciated.
      I may very well return to the setting at some point, it was fun writing it and I'd love to spend more time there.

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  12. Dear Gary,

    Welcome aboard. i loved the name of the city. Fantastic take on the prompt. Shurom rolls off the tongue perfectly. ell done.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    http://ironwoodwind.wordpress.com/2012/02/10/dragonfly/

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    1. Thank you for the welcome, the comments and the praise of the city's title - something I hadn't expected when writing it.

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